This was the weekend that will be known as “The Weekend Where Things Didn’t Go as Planned.”
Cancelled flights – new reservations out of a different city – sketchy rental car place that wanted to charge is extra for turning the car in early because of our flight change- transportation debacles – intense planning and preparing for a program with some hiccups along the way – missed lessons – lost phone – serious illness and trip to the ER for one kiddo – sleeping in the airport – delayed flight.
Disappointed, angry, frustrated, sad, worried, annoyed, exhausted.
Thankfully, I have been really striving to be more conscious in paying attention to my inner world and pausing to recognize that all of these uncomfortable emotions are opportunities to pause, seem wisdom, and evolve. “Who do I want to be in this moment?” Turning my victim mentality into one of presence, knowing that everything always works out for me and my family. Moments of choice, creation, and intention. Moments of knowing that this is a chance to do better than I would have done last time.
Watching my children suffer in these different scenarios is difficult. I thought back on a conversation I had with my friend recently. “Can you be ok with your child being uncomfortable? What if you HAVE to be ok with it?”
Phew.
What a gift to think about this question over the weekend. Being empathetic, present, and ok. Trusting my children’s strength and resilience. Relying on God to help me be ok and knowing that my “okayness” does not indicate a lack of love. My “okayness” is meant to keep my emotions in check, keep the focus on their needs, and offer calm, stable support.
And just because things didn’t go as planned, does it mean the trip was a failure? Not at all. It was a tremendous success.
I was able to hug our Colorado kids and spend time with them. Watching Sydney in action as she taught her elementary music classes with structure, skill, and love was inspiring – such a proud parent moment. They presented a beautiful Earth Day program. I got to spend time with our children’s friends and coworkers and feel so grateful for the amazing people that surround and support them as we are so far away. I got to experience the blessing of having a great teammate for a husband and how are able to work through stressful situations together. I appreciate how my children show concern and take care of each other. I had a dream that was a clear message to me of being known and blessed and loved. I observe wonderful friends who step in and help so willingly; I feel deep love for them. I received grace in difficult situations and offered grace for others. Success.
